Birthday Traditions
by Triforce90
Summary: Starfire's birthday's coming up... and Beast Boy has suggested something special to celebrate. How will Raven react... And further more, how will Raven get the info she needs for the celebration to be complete? ONE SHOT! HAHAHA!


A/N: I have **NO **idea how many fics there may be that involve, but I'm guessing that there's going to be a lot. Please note that I didn't mean to copy anybody's idears.

Enjoy and be healthy.

* * *

"No."

"Come on, Rae!" begged Cyborg, on his knees and hands folded. The site that the two were displaying was quite pathetic… Raven on the couch, her legs folded and arms crossed, and Cyborg, on his knees and begging for Raven's cooperation.

"It's bad enough that you got me into this. I don't plan to help you in any other way."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

Raven glared into Cyborg's eyes, causing the robot to scoot back in fright.

"Allow me," said Beast Boy as he sat on the couch next to Raven. Then, pulling something white out of his pocket, he began to speak.

"Do you see what I have, Raven?"

Raven looked at the white object. "It's a sock puppet."

And indeed, it was a sock puppet. Two black buttons represented its eyes, while four pink beads represented a cheerful and smiling face.

"Right!" applauded Beast Boy. Then, pulling something shiny and silver out of his pocket, he said, "And do you know what this is?"

"It's a fork."

"Right again!" Then, placing the fork behind the sock puppet, Beast Boy began to move the silver object so that its prongs would hit the sock's "lower back".

"Can you guess what's going to happen to you if you don't do as I say?"

Raven looked at the fork and then the sock puppet. "No."

"I'm going to shove this thing UP YOUR LITTLE BUTT!"

Raven looked at Beast Boy, unaffected by his threats. "And if you do that, I will blast you all the way to the far ends of Pluto, where no one will hear you cry for help and you'll die a lonely, painful death."

Beast Boy opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it when he realized that Raven won. "Touché," he said, putting the fork and sock puppet away. "But what would you do if you saw… THIS?"

Then, pulling out a lighter and a rag doll, he started a flame and brought it to the doll's head.

"If you don't do what I say, Raven, this doll is going to get BURNED TO A STAKE!"

Raven gasped. "You… You would do that to Scout?"

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Scout. Whatever."

Raven stared in disbelief. "You You're a monster!"

"DO IT, RAVEN!" shouted Beast Boy, bringing the flame closer to Scout's head. "OR SCOUT GETS IT!"

Raven looked from the lighter to Scout, from the lighter to Scout, from the lighter to Scout… Scout…!

"Fine…" said Raven, sighing in defeat. "But please, just let Scout go…"

Beast Boy dropped the lighter, then handed Scout over.

Raven hugged Scout.

"Now get going."

Raven looked up from her best friend. "Now?"

"Yes. We need to get the details by tomorrow. This is probably our only chance. Star's up in her room right now, so this is probably the best opportunity we'll get."

Raven sighed. "Fine." Then, getting up, she said "Come on, Scout."

Scout and Raven left the room.

* * *

Raven couldn't believe what she was about to do. Looking at Scout, she was glad that she had managed to save her life… but now she had to do something for Beast Boy.

Why, of all ideas, did it have to be this one? There were four ideas for Starfire's upcoming birthday; one from each of them. But why, in the name of stuff, did it have to be Beast Boy's that was voted as the best one?

Of course, she had voted against it, but there were three boys…

Raven couldn't see what was so bad with her idea. She had just suggested a nice party at the Tower, where Starfire would still get gifts and cake and ice cream and all sorts of attention.

Robin's was good, too. He had suggested a shopping spree at Starfire's favorite mall.

And then there was Cyborg's, who had suggested sending Starfire on a vacation of her choice (on Earth, that is).

And then an idea struck Beast Boy, and the two boys instantly agreed. He'd suggested… a traditional Tamaranian birthday party.

"It would be a great learning experience," Robin had said. "Besides, it would be nice for her."

Raven clenched her teeth at the thought. Sure, it would be nice for Starfire. She could understand that. But would it be nice for _her_? Or for Scout?

"Oh Scout," said Raven, looking at the rag doll. "If only you could talk. Then you could have a say in this idea."

There was a moment of silence as Raven continued to look at the rag doll.

"Yes. I agree. Beast Boy is quite a moron."

"…"

"No. We shouldn't go wishing death on him. No one deserves that."

"…"

"Because I said so."

"…"

"Don't you dare take that tone of voice with me, Missy."

"…"

Raven gasped. "OH! AN INSULT! AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU!"

"…"

"GOOD QUESTION? WHY DIDN'T I LET YOU BURN?"

"Raven?"

Raven looked at Scout with wide eyes and an open mouth. "Scout… you can talk?"

"Raven?"

"SCOUT! YOU ACTUALLY _CAN _TALK!"

"Friend Raven, it is Starfire!"

Raven lifted Scout so she was face level to her eyes. "Starfire, what are you doing in Scout's body?"

"Raven… I am right in front of you."

"Yes, you are. But what did you do to Scout?"

"Who is Scout?"

"Scout's my doll! You possessed her!"

"No I did not…"

"LIES!" Raven threw Scout to the floor. "LET SCOUT BACK, YOU ALIEN MONSTER!"

Raven then felt a slap to the face. Looking up, she saw Starfire, angry and ready to kill.

"Oh…" said Raven. "Sorry Starfire. I thought you possessed Scout."

Starfire's anger died down. "It is alright. Is that who you were talking to?"

"Yeah… Don't tell anyone."

"I shall not!"

After picking Scout up off the floor, Raven remembered her mission. She then began to think of ideas to get into Starfire's room, where she could complete her assignment.

"Hey Star," said Raven. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Certainly!" Starfire gave the visitor full access to her room. "Just remember, though, to – how do you say it? – 'put the seat down'."

Raven, used to familiar situations, replied, "I'll try."

Stepping inside the bathroom and closing the door, Raven noticed a plastic cup on Starfire's counter top. Taking the plastic cup, Raven dipped it into the toilet bowl, filling it with water. Then, slowly dumping the water out, Raven looked for other ways to make it seem like she was going to the restroom.

"Ah… Um…Relief…?" said Raven, trying her hardest to sound like she was actually going to the bathroom instead of faking it. Once the water was completely gone from the cup, Raven flushed the toilet.

She then turned on the sink to make it sound like she was washing her hands. Instead, she washed the plastic cup out thoroughly, then put it back where it was. Then, turning the water off, she exited the bathroom.

"Did you… 'put the seat down'?"

Raven looked back into the restroom. "Yes."

Starfire was currently sitting on her bed, reading a _Victoria's Secret _catalog. Raven noticed this and wondered if she should take the time to explain what that stuff was and when it should be properly used… But then again, why did she even care? She was on a mission, and Scout's life depended on the success of that mission. She needed to find out what a Tamaranian birthday consisted of.

"Hey, Starfire," said Raven, trying to lure the naive Tamaranian into giving away some information. "You're birthdays coming up soon, right?"

"Yes!" said Starfire, looking up from a silk bra. "In two days from now, I will be 5840 days old!"

Raven did the calculation in her head. Finding out the answer, she continued to on with the conversation. "Are you excited?"

"Yes. It is going to be my second Earth birthday, and I am eager to experience your customs once again."

Raven searched her brain for more things to discuss, realizing that this wasn't working. "I guess our birthdays are pretty different from yours," she finally said, hoping that this would lead the alien into her trap.

"They are _very_ different! We do not have decorated pastries or gifts of giving."

"What do you do?" asked Raven, realizing that this was actually going to work. Raven sat on Starfire's mattress across from her, looking into the Tamaranian's big green eyes.

"Well," said the alien, getting into a comfortable position, "if it was my birthday, I would get up in the morning and sing the song of birthdays."

"_Happy Birthday_?" asked Raven, hoping that Tamaranian birthdays weren't that different.

"No! The song is titled _Horgin_, or, in your language, _Birthday_.

"How does it go?" asked Raven, already knowing that she wasn't going to have to sing the song. But she might as well encourage Starfire… If she just asked questions about the party itself, Starfire might suspect something.

Starfire cleared her throat.

"_They say it's your birthday!  
__It's my birthday too, yeah!  
__I'm glad it's your birthday!  
__We're gonna have a good time!_"

Raven just tried to act like she was totally unfamiliar with the song, but really, she was shocked. She had no idea that British rock bands were popular in Tamaran.

"Usually, the song is sung in my language, but I figured that there would be no point in singing both versions to you." Starfire smiled, as if acknowledging her own wisdom.

"What would you do after that?" asked Raven, ready to make mental notes.

"Next, I would go down into the dining room, where all of my friends and family would be waiting for me in my outfit of choice."

Raven's eyes stared at the Tamaran girl. "What do you mean by that?"

"On the day before my birthday, I would pick out an outfit for each of my guests to wear. On Tamaran, it is considered an honor if a whole lot of people dress up in the same attire as you."

"Uh huh…" said Raven, trying her hardest to not imagine herself in a Starfire uniform. EW! AND THE GUYS WOULD HAVE TO DRESS UP LIKE HER, ALSO! Raven stuck out her tongue in disgust, trying to get the nasty vision out of her mind.

"Once I would make my entrance, my friends and family would clap for me and sing the _Kistno ygorg mak nookie_, or _The Song of Yayness_.

"Yayness?" asked Raven, unfamiliar with the word.

"I shall sing it for you in your language." Starfire cleared her throat once more.

"_YAYNESS!  
__It's your birthday!  
__YAYNESS!  
__That's what we say!_

_You're one year older  
__Not one year less!  
__So we all shout out  
_'_YAYNESS!'_

_It's your special day today  
__Special days must be accompanied by 'YAY!'  
__It's something to celebrate  
__Before your hair turns thin and gray!_

_YAYNESS!  
__It's your birthday!  
__YAYNESS!  
__That's what we say!_

_You're one year older  
__Not one year less!  
__So we all shout out  
_'_YAYNESS!'_

_YAYNESS!"_

Raven just sat there in disbelief. It was one thing that she would have to sing… but sing THAT? She couldn't just sing that out loud! It would tarnish her reputation! Still, Starfire was a friend. Sighing, Raven motioned for the alien to continue.

"After _The Song of Yayness_, I give a speech of gratitude, which should last about ten minutes."

Raven nodded, eyes wide with fear that this birthday thing would just totally go south.

"Then, we all sit down and enjoy a bowl of gloorgniggin, a dish that consists of glorgledangers and moojipies."

"And what are those?" asked Raven, hoping that it wouldn't be something totally disgusting.

"Glorgledangers are somewhat like yams, and moojipies are like what you call liquid hand soap."

Raven made a mental note to make sure that liquid hand soap was nontoxic. "And then…?"

"After that, I would force everybody to be my personal servant for five minutes. I could get them to do anything, including gloorglening my horafklonger."

"What are those?"

"Gloorglening is a process that is done to make sure that my pet horafklonger is stimulant free."

Raven knew that whatever a horafklonger was, they weren't going to get one.

"After they are my personal servant, we play a game called soggafitz, which is very much like the wrestling matches you see on the entertainment device. However, unlike the ones on the entertainment device, the wrestling matches on _my _planet are very real."

Raven just nodded while trying to keep from running away.

"After that it is nearly noon, and for the rest of the day I lounge around, eating and doing whatever I choose."

Raven nodded. "Sounds like a very fun celebration."

"It is indeed!" Starfire then tilted her head. "Why did you need to know, Friend Raven?"

"No reason."

And with that, Raven got up and left Starfire's room.

* * *

"What am I going to do, Scout?" asked Raven as she walked down the hallway back to the living room. "I'm going to have to tell the guys…"

"…"

"Yeah… It disgusts me, too."

Raven did not want to see the guys in Starfire outfits. That was just… disgusting. And it would emasculate them! The horror!

"…"

"You're right. I can't lie to them. I'll just have to tell them everything and hope for the best."

As soon as Raven said these words, she opened the door and headed into the living room. She could see the guys sitting on the sofa, rapidly pressing buttons on their controllers as they… did something…

"Did you find out anything?" asked Beast Boy, turning around just in time to see Raven sneaking off.

Raven stopped in her tracks and looked at Beast Boy. "How did you know I was there?"

"I know when a person enters the room! It's like bat radar!" Beast Boy made a proud pose.

"Oh yes. Bat radar. Something I've always wanted to have. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Did you find something out or not?" asked Robin, waiting for an answer.

Raven sighed. "Yes…"

"And?"

"Make yourselves comfortable."

* * *

"Is Star coming downstairs?"

"Yeah… I can hear her."

"Alright, just like we practiced. On the count of three, we turn the lights on and scream it."

"Yeah."

The sound of the door opening could be heard, and the boys could easily see Star's outline in the door frame.

"Hello?" she asked. "Is anyone here?"

Beast Boy turned the lights on, and the three boys shouted "SURPRISE!"

"OH!" shouted Starfire, taking several steps forward and twirling around, making sure her large eyes took in every single decoration. "This is wonderful! Thank you so much!"

"No prob!" said Cyborg. "It's your birthday, after all!"

Starfire's grin vanished when she continued to look around the room. "Where is Friend Raven?"

The boys' smiles disappeared as well when they noticed that Raven was not with them.

Robin leaned over to Beast Boy. "Um… Beast Boy?" he asked in a low whisper. "You _did _remember to tell Raven, right?"

"Tell her what?" he asked. His eyes then opened wide when he realized something. "Oh man…"

At that moment, the living room door opened. The boys and Starfire turned to see Raven standing there in a Starfire's outfit.

Just as Raven opened her mouth to sing the _Song of Yayness_, she instead closed it and looked at the boys. "Wait…" she said. "Are you telling me…"

The boys stared wide-eyed as they nodded their heads slowly.

"I feel so violated…"

And with that, Raven took off.

"Friends," began Starfire, "what was that all about?"

The boys looked at each other quickly.

"Um… NOTHING!" shouted Cyborg. "HERE! HAVE SOME CAKE!"


End file.
